So, I have officially purchased a motorcycle which I will be legally able to ride this Sunday. My mind is all over the place regarding this decision, but I have to admit that I couldn't be happier and that nothing is going to stop me. Since the purchase became a reality, some of those who were once completely on board with the idea (i.e., Kristin and my dad) have expressed their concern. In no way does this shed light negatively on them, but proves that embarking on this adventure of motorcycledom affects more people that just me. Over the last couple days, I've reflected a lot on why it is that I'm doing this...to prove to myself that it's a good decision. I've realized that I'm still unexplainably excited about it for two main reasons:
1. I can't deny that everything in my life filters through my understanding of leadership. Call it what you like (I am also hesitant about people who wear "leadership" on their sleeve), but the many facets of leadership and how they play out in my daily life through reflection and action keep me constantly convicted about what it means to be relational, serve others, and live to the fullest. My spiritual beliefs also encourage the decisions I make and create a positive fork in the road for my spontaneous and adventurous desires. When it comes down to it, I believe leadership is often just as much about what gets us revved up as it is about what we actually do. This quote by George Bernard Shaw articulates my emotions about why I am ready to jump on a motorcycle and ride:
"I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."
With no intention of sacrificing humility, I really want riding a motorcycle to be part of my legacy. Similar to skydiving, I'm ready to know what it is about riding a motorcycle that will equate to my belief that I've jumped out of a plane at 14,000 ft., so there's nothing I can't do.
2. When I started this blog, I mentioned that one of the things that I wanted to talk about was what I've learned about mutuality through multiple sclerosis. I'm going to tangent off of that a bit, but have to be honest that my internalization of my multiple sclerosis diagnosis enhanced my need for speed. I hate to bring up "the MS card," and I hope you know I wouldn't talk about it for selfish reasons.
One of the craziest things about having MS is that there's no clear prognosis for how the disease will play itself out in the future. We may have a cure in a few years. I may see a strong decline in my health from the condition I've been blessed so far. I may not. The parts of my body that are affected could dramatically change. You get it. But that is the scariest and most encouraging part of the whole deal at the same time. Simply said, if my legs, arms, eyes, etc. aren't working right in the future I'll be bummed that I didn't take advantage of this opportunity now. I'm able NOW and that makes me thankful.
But it's not merely personal. I don't have a clear understanding of how this will happen, but I need to devote my life in some way shape or form to this cause. My doctor when I was first diagnosed told me, "This is your opportunity." Little did he know, this simple comment made a huge difference in my life. I was optimistic about the whole thing, but this made me want to do something BIG about it. I can understand if you're lost in the mix here of everything I'm talking about, but it comes full circle for me. I'd love to root my service with the community now and in the future in my experiences with MS. Getting a motorcycle and riding the life out of it relates to the Dalai Lama's statement that, "If I seek enlightenment for myself simply to enhance myself and my position, I miss the purpose, if I seek enlightenment for myself to enable me to serve others, I am with purpose."
I realize I'm doing this because I want to...and I don't deny the component of selfishness. But, I'd love to talk with the masses about this experience some day for what I believe it is worth. For me, that is more than just what it appears on the surface.